foretoken
Bridgid and I went to Pittsburgh a few weekends ago, and on the way home we witnessed a ten-mile traffic jam on the other side of the West Virginia highway. It was painful to watch people sitting in such an awful mess, especially as we encountered those people who had only been in it a few minutes and had no idea what they were in for. Both of us become extremely frustrated in traffic - the feeling of helplessness, combined with the knowledge that four out of five traffic jams are caused by trivial events on the side of the road[1], just fuels the rage minute after minute. I would rather be attacked by flying robot sharks that shoot lasers out of their eyes than sit in traffic that I know is caused by people who are hoping to see a cool accident and have (apparently) never used the Internet before.
The tragedy in West Virginia brought to mind other instances where we had seen horrible traffic jams that continued to grow because the people driving in the opposite direction had no way of warning the oncoming victims; soon we were discussing ideas for a universal signal that drivers could give to people on the other side of the road to let them know that all hope was lost, and what the rules would be for using it. This post will be my first attempt at harnessing the power of the Internet to start a nationwide trend[2].
First, we need to define some vocabulary:
- highway - A stretch of road on which there is less than one traffic signal per mile and the average speed limit is fifty miles-per-hour or higher.
- traffic jam - A situation that requires vehicles to move at less than half the speed limit for five miles or more.
- free-flowing traffic - The normal rate of travel for a particular road at a particular time of day.
- bicycle turn signal - The act of raising your left arm so that it forms a ninety-degree angle, often used by cyclists who wish to make a turn signal when riding on a major road. Like this.
Some may say that the turn signal is sub-optimal, and that may be the case. Bridgid and I spent a long time[4] brainstorming on this, but we're willing to consider other ideas. Another criticism that I'm expecting is that the amount of time one is required to use the signal is too long; frankly, I think it's a small price to pay when you realize that you stand to benefit greatly if others reciprocate in your own time of need. Our experience through West Virginia was kind of extreme (ten miles of traffic through the Appalachians, with limited exits and supporting towns), but at a law-abiding seventy miles-per-hour, I only would have had to keep my hand out the window for five minutes in order to help my fellow citizens.
Now, before you all go out and start using this new signal, I must warn you to be conservative and stick to the rules. If we have people driving down the interstate with their hands out the window every time there's a five-minute backup, people will start to ignore the signal and it won't be useful anymore. This isn't like flashing your headlights to warn others of an upcoming speed trap - overuse of the signal could do more harm than good. The next time you're on a long trip and you see a never-ending train wreck piling up in the opposite direction, wait for the fifth mile, and then open your window and fulfill your duty as an American motorist.
[1] Sixty-five percent of people read this statistic and believed it without even checking my footnote to see if I made it up.
[2] If you're outside of the United States, I apologize, but I don't have any experience with your cross-country traffic, nor have I learned all of your offensive hand gestures. You'll have to start your own trends.
[3] The danger that flying robot sharks pose to humans is only exacerbated by their ability to navigate in the dark.
[4] A solid ten minutes.
Labels: culture, narcissism
posted by Dan at
1:26 PM
1 Comments:
One minor quibble: that's not just a bicycle turn signal, that's a turn signal for motorized traffic as well (if, for example, you're driving an antique Model T with non-operational directional signals, or a tractor or something (and actually, out where I live, both examples are distinct possibilities)).
The appropriate section in the handbook . . .
You'll have all the nit-pickers thinking you're trying to merge right or exit . . .
February 13, 2008 5:22 PM
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